Training for a win

Training for a win


What do we actually do with those whom we see potential.  We have an active role in leaders lives, simply by our dedication to their success.  It has to become part of your thinking to help them succeed.


Training for a win. At the beginning of this year God spoke to me and challenged me to start learning more.  He said to me “The more you know, the more I can use you.”  When we are looking to help others succeed and grow, one of the areas is to train them what they should do


1 – Get simple – start with their time with God.  Encourage them to dive into the Word deeper.  Every success is made life-lasting when it is surrounded by the Word.  Every success that is done outside of God loses it’s effectiveness.


2.  Accountability – we all know that as humans we are really good at making resolutions at the beginning of the year.  It is also known that most resolutions last 17 days.  Why?  Accountability.  Look at ways that you can hold them accountable.  Example; there is a person in my life right now that is looking to join the armed forces.  In order to do so, there is a score that he is aiming for on the ASVAB.  Right now, he texts me every time he takes the test and what his scores are.


3.  Encourage – When you have a personal trainer, they are giving you the simple exercises, they are setting up a point of accountability, and they are encouraging you to keep going. When I get the test scores back for this young man, I always encourage him to keep pushing, keep learning, and keep prepping.


I know it can be daunting, but our lives are not our own.  We have been bought with a price, let’s make it a great purchase :)   Take the time to get them on the right track (get simple), keep them on the right track (accountability) and give them some fuel (encouragement).

Am I willing to die for you? My thoughts on all “this”.

Breaking silence.  I have been on the sidelines of everything that is going on mainly for two reasons – I want to love everyone, and I DONT think my words really matter in a situation like this.  And to be honest, they don’t!  But this morning, I was awakened by the Holy Spirit with such a compassion from God to tell us “I love everyone”.
These past few months have shown us that racial division is still real – in America, and our world.  We have seen killings, protests, shootings, and horrific slayings all because of racial division and prejudice. From New York, to Missouri, to a school in the middle east where racial division cause the killing 141 children this past week. It hurts my heart.
But, I think we have gotten all of this wrong as sons and daughters of God.  Sure, the world is going to respond the way the world would – because the world doesn’t KNOW the love of God the way that we do – or SHOULD.  The enemy wants Christians to get caught up, he wants nothing more than for us to start killing each other – judging each other and stop loving each other.
  • To Christians, to myself – why are we looking for justice, when the only justice for sin is forgiveness.  The only response for someone who has turned from God’s love, is the cross.  I don’t believe that Christ is taking sides – choosing who he thinks is right  - I believe he is looking for sins to cover so that the lost might be saved.
It’s not God to look at the color of anyones skin and determine their value (why do we?)
It’s not God to look at the behavior of anyone and determine their value (why do we?)
It IS God to love us so much, that even while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Prejudice is sin, pure evil.
It’s the depth of the enemy’s desire – division.
But that means we need to be doing something other than dividing, right?!  Something, as believers, with all that is going on that brings unity instead of strife. Things need to change in america, (in the world) but dividing a nation is exactly what the enemy wants to do.  He WANTS this to be about sides.
Let’s bring change by choosing life, by choosing each other OVER ourselves. Let’s bring change the way the Bible tells us; spending more time in prayer than on Facebook talking about it.  Yes, I said that – I do my best to stay off Facebook, but I have seen more of us Christians “talking” about the problems than I have seen us gathering to pray. (Oh, we say “I’m praying for this situation” but are we really?).
This morning, I was awakened to read Luke chapter 6.  I have taught this so many times when it comes to overcoming offense, but this morning it was such a reminder of the power of God’s love to a nation whose racial division is still killing the masses.  Still causing innocent hundreds of lives, weeks at a time… Let’s get a hold of this for America, so that we can LOVE.
Luke 6:27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.



Being Present

Have you ever had an important conversation with someone (or at least important to you) and they are texting someone else?  Or they get a text and break their “presentness” to check on another conversation or another call. Uggg, it frustrates the snot out of me icon smile Being Present – BUT It has me perplexed – cause in those moments I have found myself doing the same thing.  That compulsion when your cell phone buzzes and you are already in a conversation with someone actually next to you. It drives you to KNOW what was said, who texted you, who called your phone.  And it drives at you so much that you are just looking for the opportunity to check on that “other” conversation.  So you look…
  • 1 – Eye contact broken – the greatest indicator that someone is paying attention is in their eye contact.
  • 2 – Attention broken (cause it is IMPOSSIBLE to really be present when you are engaging in ANOTHER conversation).
  • 3 – Brain disconnect – your actual thinking has taken the text you read and starts aiming for a response
  • 4 – Relationship disconnect
  • 5 – The “other” person in your physical presence conversation WILL feel less important… and they are RIGHT THERE.
We have made the “next” conversation more important than “this” conversation.
This has really hit me recently with my travels.  I went down to New Orleans to work on our home down there and because I used my miles, I flew out of Midway, but back into Ohare.  The two airports are about 2 hours apart, so CTA trains here I come.  I got on the first train and decided that I would be present, to look for a conversation where I can encourage someone (plus my phone was dead).  So, I watched as 100’s of people came on the train and left the train – and of those 100’s of people there were only 5 that didn’t either have their headphones in, or were so engrossed with their iPhone that they didn’t even notice being near human beings. Each platform we stopped at, I would see hundreds of people standing, waiting for their train, just staring at their phones.
Here is what I believe…
God wants us to BE PRESENT.
Here comes the blanket statement that could upset some people – but I really feel like, after having this heart to heart with God, that if I turn to my phone while in an actual conversation, I have sinned.  I have valued my desire to “know” what I am missing out on (MY desire) over their presence.
I believe that we are missing out on God encounters every day because we are not present.
Not engaged in the conversation we have been set up to be in.
We are too busy to make the people in front of us important because we have neglected what Paul wrote to the church of Philippi.
Philippians 2:4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
I am not saying that we are horrible people, I am thinking that God is looking at us and trying to let us see that we are missing opportunities with others, and ultimately opportunities with Him.  He wants to be with us, he wants to be close to us.  But we have to be present.
So, here are some practical tips to being present.
1 – Put the phone away (silent it, take of the buzz, maybe even leave it behind for that conversation)
2 – Make eye contact (keep your eyes in the conversation)
3 – Listen to them (not looking for a way out, but looking for a way in)
4 – Engage your heart and mind (sometimes we are not interested in what they are saying, but we have to put aside our interests for the interests of others)
Alright, well have an incredible day and hopefully we will all be more present.
Prayer:  God, please forgive me for always looking for the way out in my conversations, a way to disengage and move on.  You rider my steps, to include the people who want to talk or share.  Help me to see them the way that you do, not as a distraction, but as a valuable gift that you paid your whole life to love them.  Help me to love more, and to be present.

Leadership: Who are they following?

Good morning,

So this morning I was reading in the Word and have been stuck in 1 Samuel for the last two weeks – which has been really good.  But this morning I was really encouraged and reminded of a few things.  Lets start by reading 1 Samuel 3:6-7
6 And the LORD called yet again , Samuel. And Samuel arose and went toEli, and said , Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered , I called not, my son; lie downagain . 7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, neither was the word of the LORD yetrevealed unto him.
Now when I read this, for the first time there was something that jolted me. It is what I believe is the KEY to what we are supposed to do as leaders.  See, too often we become so wrapped up in the performance of our ministries that we lose what our true focus is about… To get that  - we need to dive into what happened in verse 7.
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, neither was the word of the LORD yetrevealed unto him.
Samuel was a chosen child.  His parents dedicated him to the temple to serve the House of the Lord under Eli the priest.  His role, the assistant to the priest.  I can imagine all that he did in that role; gather wood for the sacrifices, help with making the showbread, prepare the altars, remove the sacrifices, take care of the ark of the covenant (obviously without touching anything or entering the holy of holies).
Relationship with Eli had to have some significance.  He had been serving since he had come of age, and at the point of this story Eli is comfortable with Samuel enough that he refers to him in an endearing term, son. This is all important because of what happens in verse 7.
  • Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord
  • Neither was the word of the Lord yet revealed to him…
You mean to tell me that the priest of the temple  OF GOD, had someone who was dedicated to serving the temple – but didn’t KNOW God?  Someone that had given their life completely to serving the house of the Lord, and yet, the priest they are serving neglected to introduce them to the Lord. Sound like a stretch?
Lets look at our areas of ministry.  How are we doing with all those people who have signed up to serve under our areas of ministry? How many of them have we neglected to make sure that they are in love with God? That their relationship with God is growing and flourishing?  Or are we using them to cut wood, clean up the altars, sing on the stage, lead a life group – without introducing them to the Lord?
I’ve got three quick points to help us apply this to our lives….
1 – Check ourselves - take a minute and write down all those that either directly report to you, or serve directly under you.  Answer a few of the following questions
  1. when was the last time you have asked them about their devotional life?
  2. when was the last time that you have had a prayer time with them?
  3. do you have enough knowledge of them that you could definitively say what their relationship with God is like?
If we cannot answer those questions with a positive answer, we are likely more concerned with how well they serve rather than how their walk with God is going.  True leadership starts with concerning ourselves with their good more than ours.  No longer are we going to be able to dismiss someone’s spiritual health in order to accomplish our goals, we have to …
2 – Change our goals - in order to complete the vision that God has placed in us, we have to focus on what God has ordered us to do.  It is obvious throughout the new testament that God’s purpose for our lives is to live for others.  Our goal is the growth of those around us and for everyone to “know the Lord” and to have the word of the Lord “revealed” to them.  That is our place, but how?
  1. Make your number one goal – the team’s personal growth. That means getting a little messy and washing some feet.  That means letting them run with the vision, while you run along side them, giving them water and shouting our support.
  2. Know your team – spend time learning what they are learning in their time with God.  Set up accountability and make your relationship with them about their growth.
3 – Create the culture - make this leading thing fun.  We don’t need to have our Samuels hearing from God a prophetic word that states that we are about to lose everything.  Not really the plan that God has for us.  So, we need to create the culture that places the highest emphasis on the presence of God and the growth that comes with spending time with God.
  1. Example  - be the example of what it looks like to be in love with God.  Show the team that there is NOTHING that comes before God in your life; through your speech, your life decisions, your time priorities.
  2. Encourage – set up a regular discussion on their relationships with God.  Ask the questions, encourage bibles studies, do book studies together as a team.  Find ways that your team can encourage each other to fall in love with Jesus every day!
  3. Encounters – Set up encounters with your team.  Times where you can engage the presence of God together.
I know that all of this sounds simple and probably information that we all “know”.  But, I think it is a great reminder that we need to always look at our teams through the eyes of God.  It really is an honor to serve people through leadership – to make your relationship with them all about… them.  Let’s make the commitment that we will not have Samuels’ on our team that have to hear from God audibly because we have failed to lead them to “know the Lord’ or to have the word of the Lord “revealed” to them.

Leading One’s Self – Managing Your Time

All too often leaders will focus more on those they are leading than themselves.  Now, I am not talking about being selfish and buying yourself a new car to “reward” yourself for all the work you have been doing – I am talking about focusing on what makes you better.  Personal growth is the great factor in performance, and performance is simply the difference between what we know to do and what we actually do.


First area that we can fix -

  • Managing Your Time – DEFINE: Manage: to be in charge of, control, be at the helm
  • The fact is that WE CONTROL how we spend our time – no one else!
    • Here is what God is encouraging me in!!! TV wasting fool (I need to turn the TV off more, and seek HIM and growth instead)  Truthfully what is TV adding to my life that is producing life or creating room for the dreams that God has placed in me.  Now I can hear in my own mind, what about relaxing or disconnecting to refresh my batteries…. to ME I say – what better way to refresh than to be in God’s presence?  If I truly believe that God is more than enough, and that He can restore my strength… then why not spend MORE time with Him?
    • You are not going to find one treasure chest that gives you 3 free hours a day (going to take making better choices in many areas) so start looking for a few small ways to trim back.  Look at your work week and see what areas you are wasting time in?  What are some meetings that are not producing enough results that are better spent in personal growth, or team development?
    • Only two ways to spend time better  - to get time that is NOT in your week
      • Do less – Maybe you need to stop doing some things?  Maybe you need to let go of a few things and let OTHERS do them. Especially the ones that are getting paid to do it :)
      • Or do things faster – I learned from my spiritual mentor years ago that we need to allow the Holy Spirit to guide EVERYTHING about our day.  Sometimes the Holy Spirit is telling us to wait on something til later, or to reschedule something.  Take the time to listen to the Holy Spirit.
    • Touch paper (or emails) only once – don’t let it stay on your desk to deal with later.  Don’t let an email stay in your inbox – handle the matter quickly and done.
    • Set aside uninterrupted planning time a day – this is not when you have people coming in and out of your office.  This is also not just a “todo” list mentality.  This is a set aside time to be before God and asking Him – what do you want me to do today and how do you want me to do it?
    • Based on Priority – know them! Write them down!
      • Time with God is NUMBER 1 – IF anything in your week should be scheduled (God Time) – Proverbs 9:10 – Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom, and knowledge of HIM is understanding.


RIGHT NOW – evaluate yourself in and your time management (Scale 1-10)

    • When you put your own life in order, it becomes a tool for you to help others get theirs in order



5 Lessons I learned from Bob Goff

Yesterday we were BLESSED to have @BobGoff at for our sunday services.  WOW.  It so re-energized my and my faith I had to write about it.  So here are my take homes on yesterday’s service!


1 – I choose love; people and life - It’s no wonder that stress can rob the life out of life.  It’s a cancer.  It’s a cancer that has everything to do with me worrying about… Me.  The only time in the word that I see Jesus dealing with stress, it was a BIG deal.  In fact, it was such a physical weight that the bible says that he was sweating great drops of blood.  I truly believe at that point he was carrying the emotional burden for all of us in order to give us victory; depression, fear, doubt, worry, etc…  But it was because he was thinking of himself – that fleshly desire to make decisions based on what I want for myself, or the fleshly fear what others think.  He was about to DIE! But in that moment he was taking on our fears.  The ridicule that was coming, the shame that was about to be GLARED AT HIM, the pain of standing up for others instead of defending yourself, the misunderstanding that was about to damn him to death for something he didn’t do.  CHRIST,  instead of defending himself in front of the crowds, he laid down his life before they could take it.  I choose love from this day forward, realizing that it means laying down my life and the fears I have.
2 – I choose to not waste my words, mind, and emotions on situations that do not last – Oh, this one was good and he didn’t even say it from the stage.  This was one backstage when he was talking about his relationship with sweet Maria (his term for his wife).  He said they don’t waste time on the conversational babel of talking about things that don’t last.  Who cares what “so-and-so” thinks of you, or said about you.  Who cares about the politics of your job or relationships… Why waste anymore of my precious time with people talking about things that don’t last. I want my new conversations to be;  What are your dreams? What has God been changing in you? What do you want to do together when we get old? What can we do for our children? So many questions other than the constant little skirmishes over the things that really don’t matter.  Bad days become good when we focus on each other instead of stuff.

3 – I choose to surround myself with worry free risk takers - Oh man, this one strikes a chord within all of us.  You know… those relationships where it drains so much out of you because they always seem to have an issue or offense.  Friendships that have become more of a heavy maintenance or else you are misunderstood? God has given each of us free will and I may offend some people by saying what I am going to say…  Stop being their friend!  Man, I desire to have stress free people around me so I can focus on growing the stressed people not flee from them. Let my close relationships be with people who DONT get offended, who DONT need me to assure them all the time, who can be honest and together at the same time, who don’t complain or cause strife, and who don’t look at the negative all the time.  Wow, what a list right?  Now, to be honest I don’t have a lot of friends, but believe me – I am on the look out for those who have a HIGH EMotional Intellegence that love god, people and life so much that they are not stuck on themselves,  I think that is the truth of this point… I want to surround myself with the kind of people who love others more than themselves.  That can take a beating, unwarranted, and still die for that person (without telling the whole world… Or facebook :) . That is what Christ was like, and I want to be more like him!4 – I will no longer allow negative words out of my mouth about people - My dad taught me one of the most incredible lessons of my life about my wife. I’ve just never taken the time to transfer it to EVERY relationship. “Ben, don’t ever say anything negative about your wife”. Seriously!!! It has made my marriage so good, and people who don’t even know Nili love her because they have heard how incredible she is.  I don’t make rude jokes about wives, I don’t want to imply anything negative to anyone about my wife.  Some of you are thinking of every excuse about how that is unhealthy. Well, let’s trump those thoughts right quick, proverbs 18:21 – death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  I like good, juicy fruit – not rotten, decaying fruit.  How about you?  Seriously, you have to manipulate your morale compass to think of a good reason to talk bad about someone.  Especially if you are not willing to say it to them!

5 – I will not be afraid; of anything or anyone - This one was GOOD, common to most – but extraordinary to me.  I fear people, well – used to fear people.  I used to fear people and their opinions, their words, the misunderstandings, the lies, the offenses, anything that pertained to how they would think of me.  Why, cause I was and am an idiot. Bob goff said that we need realize that we will be constantly misunderstood.  And…it’s ok.  Going back to a point previous – Jesus never defended himself.  Some of us would say that he never had to, but he had plenty of opportunity. Oh, we “saints” can take a good beat when we deserve it, but lo, let there be something that was misunderstood, or falsely accused and our attitudes and mous become the devils playground.  No more.  To be honest, I worry way too much about the opinion of others in greater levels than I worry about please God.  Not that worrying is what I am supposed to be thinking when it comes to pleasing God.  But that needs to become my focus, not in “spite” of the opinion of others, but more of “no caring” about the opinion of others.  I don’t care.  I realize more, that my decisions are not going to please everyone, my opinions are not going to be the same as yours all the time, my life choices are going to cause people to say things  about me.  But if I am living FOR your growth, then I am not trying to preserve your opinion of me.  Again, if Chrost gas worried about the people’s opinion that he was dying for, we would never have this great relationship with the Father.  Christ died BECAUSE of the opinion of others – am I willing to take it that far?

 …I pray so…
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Resource: Time Management – Calendar

Here are some quick ideas on how to be better at your time management.  But, before we get into those – let me give you some cool, but uncool things about time management;

  1. The average person gets 1 interruption every 8 minutes, or approximately 7 an hour, or 50-60 per day. The average interruption takes 5 minutes, totaling about 4 hours or 50% of the average workday. 80% of those interruptions are typically rated as “little value” or “no value” creating approximately 3 hours of wasted time per day.
  2. On an average day, there are 17 million meetings in America.
  3. 1 hour of planning will save 10 hours of doing.
  4. “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always got.” To change our output, we must change our input.

Some great stuff to remember as we dive into some simple, but effective habits to get into, to be better at time management.

1 - Building Your Calendar – walk through your calendar with the following steps to start building your calendar

1 – What are the things that you HAVE to do every week.  Literally write them down :)

2 – Categorize each event according to when is the BEST time to accomplish them (day of week, time)

3 – What are the things that you have to do to GROW every week

*Creativity - Brainstorming

*Connections or Preparing for future events

*Personal, Professional Development

4 – How much time is required for each thing (write next to each item)

2 – Actual Steps

1 – Write down your weekly schedule on a simple calendar

2 – Answer the above questions and fill in your areas with times

3 – Open Outlook/Calendar and highlight the time slot (hold down mouse)

Right Click – “New Calendar Event”

Fill in Blanks  (Subject, Location, Date and Time, REMINDER)

If it is a recurring weekly, then click on the day it occurs

4 – Save and Close

5 – Repeat steps until all responsibilities are reflected



Your calendar week should be pretty full, but most importantly it should be scheduled.  The fact is that 1 hour of planning saves an employee 10 hours of doing.  If we are purposeful in our weekly planning, we are being better stewards of our positions, but also better stewards of the gifts that God has given us.

1 Timothy 4:14 ESV / Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you.


Go attack your day

& Love people



Leadership: SPEAK LIFE

How to get them to hate you…or love you.

Have you ever had to deal with a tough situation concerning correction.  Recently, I had to take the time to let a leader know that they were not cutting it out in their area of responsibility.  I had to let them know that they were not going to be able to lead anymore and that they would need to take a break from volunteering.  BUT – how do you do that FOR THEM, not against them?

It is a hard thing to correct someone, and if we don’t learn to do it the right way, we will lose our ability to help them ALONG the way.  As leaders we have to break the self-promoting, self-preserving trends of:


1 – referring to mistakes in relation to personal offense – this is when you correct someone with respect to how it “affected” you.  You know, “I put my neck out for you”, or “I took the hit for you…”  Words of shame create a separation in relationship, while Words of affirmation create a “sacrifice of self” opportunity in your relationship.  There is no need for someone to know what it costs you – instead they need to know what you are going to give for them to grow.  Love them enough to lead THEM, not just LEAD.


2 – Withholding compliments for the sake of not giving them a “big head” – ok, seriously – when I decide to not give someone a compliment, I am choosing myself over them.  Seriously, boil it down to truth –  it is more like “I don’t want you to dare think they are better than me, or that you were right”.  Take the form of the slave – do the work, and get no credit for it.  You are CONTRACTED.  That means that you have a call on your life.. in THEIR life.. to make it about THEM…not you.


3 – gaining personal worth from lowering someone else – this is low and dirty, and we all do it at some point in our leadership.  Just saying.  We make CERTAIN that the “offender” knows where they have messed up, or where they are weak – for the sake of looking like we “know”.  We basically say things to make ourselves look better, and their opinion of themselves…lower. We worry more about being right, and in the process crush their value.


There are probably 100 more ways that we shame instead of affirm – but the depth of it is about our heart to action.  What we feel in our heart about ourselves will often come out in what we say in our words to others.  We have to recognize the scripture in our talk – Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21.  Let’s always speak life…

Love the day – and embrace your moment.



Resource: Emails

Some practical steps to being a better leader, follower, believer:

Keys to communicating through emails


 1.  Make your subject line mean something!  (That’s the top part of the email :)

A. Short 6 word maximum subject of the email

B. Examples:  “Group report”, or “Problem with ChurchTeams”


2. Short Emails (No one likes to read a book via email)

A.  Get the information on the page

B.  Who, when, why, and how much


3. No “ALL CAPS”

A. It is considered yelling or rude

B. Content and order is lost


4. Reply’s (When you are responding to someone else’s email to you)

A. Be sure to recap information previously discussed

B. Don’t assume the reader knows what you are talking about

C. But keep it short

D. Reply to the email as soon as possible

E. Mark an email when you don’t respond right away!


5.  Spelling (It distracts from your content)

A. Use spellcheck on your email client (Outlook)

B.  Look up words you don’t know the spelling to

C.  Read backwards


6.  Content (Have something to say)

A. Keep your content precise and able to be understood

B. Anyone should be able to look at your email and understand (subject matter, references, and point of your email)


7. Re-read your emails (whether its your email or you are replying)

A.  Take the time to look over your emails from the recipients point of view

B.  Important emails  – write it, print it, read it, correct it, send it.


How often we misread, or have people misread the emails that we send?  How often do we get frustrated when we send an email to a leader or a volunteer and never get a response?  Well, let’s create an environment where we have excellence, yes, even in emails.

Hope this helps!



If the shoe fits…

I believe this is how a REAL leader leads:

Let’s switch up the relationship here.  In a short exercise I want you to think of how you want to be led.  What kind of relationship would you want from the most influential person in your life – what would it look like?  I think when we take the time to dream about that relationship you will unlock a new level of serving, I mean leading :)

Exercise…Imagine a relationship with that “INFLUENTIAL” leader where the ENTIRE relationship was about you.  Pardon your normal way of thinking for about 5 minutes and think of who that person would be.  It could be President Obama, Colin Powell, Joel Osteen, Perry Noble, John Maxwell… whomever! Now, before you get too defensive and say that you wouldn’t want a relationship that was ONLY about you – - think about the power of that kind of relationship.  The most influential person you know DECIDES to connect with you and they have ONLY ONE purpose – to focus on you, your growth, your potential.  Here are a few ways I think they would do it:

  • Listen: In that relationship, they would rarely talk about themselves …and only to show you something about YOU.  They wouldn’t talk when you are talking, nor would you feel like they were listening just to have a